Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
