i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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