real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
