Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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