$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
