Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
