so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The Olympian is in my bed
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
