Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
