I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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