Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
