I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
