So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found your dick twin last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
