I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
