she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize