I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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