the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
