You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
