He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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