All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's official drugs can't kill me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
