Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize