remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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