we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
