Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize