mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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