ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
