I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
