ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
