i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize