so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
