I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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