I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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