Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
