I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
