You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
