The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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