My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize