To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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