he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
