Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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