The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
