we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
