I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
