did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize