please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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