that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
