Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
