We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
