M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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