I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
