All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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