i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
