Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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