I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ttyl tear gas
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
