"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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