Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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