I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize