After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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