I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
