Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
