i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
