come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cut my penus on the lid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
