Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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