i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
