tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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