had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
