There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
