that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
