Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
