Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize