Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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