Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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