Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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